JURONG OUTREACH - May 07

SPECIFIC ROLES FOR MEN IN THE HOME
3 June 07

In God's scheme of things, the man is the leader in the home (Ephesians 5:22-23; Colossians 3:18). It is regrettable that this arrangement does not please everybody in our world today. This teaching does not please those men who are no good (devoid of morals, principles and character), and abandon their families (wife, children); otherwise known as "dead-beat dads." This teaching does not please those weak men who will not shoulder their responsibilities as leaders and providers in the home. This teaching does not please those women who have imbibed the modern feminist mystique. This teaching does not please those distorted misfits who promote a unisex society, where men and women have no distinctive roles which belong primarily to them.

The man has the primary role of providing for the home both materially and spiritually. Paul said, "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel" (1 Timothy 5:8). The word "provide" means, "taking thought in advance" (Genesis 22:8; Romans 12:17). Parents have the responsibility of providing for their children such things as life's necessities (food, shelter, clothing), a good education and above all spiritual nourishment and development (Ephesians 6:4).

There is more to being a good provider than simply providing for the material needs of a family (Luke 12:15). It seems that many men are able to do this well enough, but will not provide the greatest needs a family has, such as guidance, love, discipline and example (Proverbs 17:6).  

Many a man is happy to have absolutely nothing to do with the spiritual development of his children by leaving it all up to his wife. In so doing, he is wrong in not assuming that which is his God-given responsibility (Ephesians 6:4). We tend to think of providing as meaning the same as bringing home a paycheck. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The most important provision goes beyond what money can buy. Have we all but forgotten Paul's words to Timothy and Titus? "I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house; give no occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully" (1 Timothy 5:14), and, "The aged women likewise...That they teach the younger women...To be discrete, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed" (Titus 2:3-5). Are these words anachronistic to our lives today and no longer worthy of a place in God's counsel in our lives?

His Relationship to His Wife

The woman plays a dual role in relationship to her husband. First, she is the wife of his youth. Second, she is the mother of his children. Her work at home is so important, and seems to go unnoticed by many. Thankfully, there are still some women who want to fulfill God's plan that they "guide the house," but, society heaps such disgrace upon them they are discouraged in the task. How encouraging must have been the words of one observant sister to a preacher's wife (a homemaker), when she wrote,

Your works have not gone unnoticed. _______ is out with his work, but you are home making it possible for him to go...So many young women are happy to turn the rearing of their children over to anyone who will do it for them. They are on your feet now but just a little while, they fly out on their own...I look at you and see my mother...She was always home. It meant so much to us.

Some wives have taken control of the home and the spiritual direction of the children because the husband will not act as leader and provider in the home as he should. This is not what God intended for the home and family. Adam Clark expressed it well when he quoted Francis Quarles, who said,

Ill thrives that hapless family that shows,
A cock that's silent and a hen that crows:
I know not which live most unnatural lives;
Obeying husbands, or commanding wives.
(Clarke's Commentary, Vol. 6, p. 463).

For the family to return to God's pattern many fathers are going to have to return to their divinely designed role as leader and provider. Government with its programs cannot heal the breach; neither can grassroots organizations bind up the wounded and bleeding family structure. Men simply must return to God's will for men as leaders and providers at home. It's the only way back.                

Eph 6:4

And, ye fathers, provoke not your

children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

SOLIDIFYING THE HOME BY GODLY FATHERS
10 June 07

Godly Fathers Solidify the Home 

“In Times Like These,” fathers need to accept the responsibility (for which God holds them accountable) to guide the home. How wonderful it would be if what God said about Abraham could justly be said about Christian fathers today. “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him” (Genesis 18:19).  

Commenting on Genesis 18:19, Joseph D. Meador wrote:
. . . God chose Abraham to become the father of the nation of Israel because he took seriously his own role as a father to his own children. . . . The answer to Abraham’s effectiveness as a role model and family leader lay in the fact that he practiced what he taught others to observe. . . . Abraham provided leadership through his own consistent behaviour. . . . Abraham provided spiritual instruction to his children and household, he also provided them with clear spiritual goals. [Joseph D. Meador, “Q&A,” Firm Foundation, Vol. 112. No. 6, June, 1997, pp. 26-27.] Too many fathers have abdicated their leadership roles in the family. All fathers, need to turn to the Bible to learn how to be better fathers, “In Times Like These.” “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged” (Colossians 3:21).  

Godly fathers must thoroughly and continuously instruct their children in spiritual matters. “And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up” (Deuteronomy 6:7). A marginal reading indicates that fathers are to “sharpen” their children. Fathers may not reveal something new each time they teach their children. However, each spiritual lesson can increase a child’s proficiency in biblical matters of which he was previously informed.  

Fathers make a grave mistake if they permit their children’s biblical education to be limited, at best, to the four one-hour segments of Bible class and worship per week. An unsigned bulletin tidbit reads: “No man ever really finds out what he believes in until he begins to instruct his children.” Some fathers, then, must not believe much, for the little to nothing they teach their children about God’s ways.  

The home has sometimes been called “The Laboratory of Life.” What children experience in the home will make them respectively fit or unfit for their later physical, psychological, social, spiritual, intellectual and economical lives. Children, among other lessons, must be taught that learning how to live is more important than learning how to make a living. Our children, of course, need to learn both, but they must be taught about priorities. Christianity is a way of life!  

It is in the home that fathers must teach children law and order. Learning how to abide by rules and regulations in the home prepares children to abide in the rules and regulations of both God and man (government). Responsible discipline is essential to successful parenting (Hebrews 12:5-11; Proverbs 13:24; 23:13-14).  

This, though, is an area in which society and the legal system challenge Christian homes. Children may be taken by the State if parents administer corporal punishment (spank). It has happened and it will doubtless happen again. Further, promoters of children’s advocacy or children’s rights would have children evaluate their parents, their home environment and religious training to which they are subjected. Children may then inform on their parents or sue to divorce their parents. Even godly parents are at legal risk for the whims of an unruly child.  

It is in the home that fathers must ensure that their children learn to practice reverential public worship. Our children need to know what worship is Further, our children must come to know God — He who is worshipped. They must know how to worship. Again, Christianity is very much supposed to be a way of life — of which reverential, public worship is a necessary part. The home and public worship complement each other and contribute to fortifying our children in the face of many perils to their faith.  

BABIES: THOSE "AWFUL" CREATURES
17 June 07

A frustrated father claims that babies are some of the most “awful” creatues on this earth. Why would someone make such an outlandish statement? Read this article and see.

A sincere person has had a difficult time in dealing with his infant children. In his frustration, he has accepted a theological position that is not in harmony with the Scriptures. He believes that babies are sinners. He does not impute to them the guilt of Adam’s sin (as many religious people customarily do); rather, he charges that infants are personal sinners. Here is how he expressed the matter.

“After dealing with three babies (they are older now) I can make this statement with some authority. Babies are the most tyrannical, selfish, and downright awful creatures in the world. Does that shock you? It shouldn’t. They know nothing but their own selfishness until they are taught otherwise. Toddlers are even worse. If they are not taught to share toys they will scream and beat each other with the toys. We are all born with the sin nature. We are not charged for our fathers’ sins, but we do carry enough of our own.”  

One cannot but feel some degree of sympathy for this gentleman. When a parent has to care for an infant for the first time (or even subsequently), it surely is a challenging task. The experience can be intellectually perplexing and emotionally draining. Frequently, we are quite inept in handling the task. But I feel more than mere sympathy for this individual. I am saddened because he appears to have let the frustrations of the new-parent experience rob him of the overall joy that caring for a new baby can bring. Despite his claim to the contrary, his distressing experiences did not qualify him as an “authority” on this issue. God’s Word is the authority, and it does not harmonize with this reckless, emotionally-oriented defamation of his children.

This father has allowed his discouragement to thrust him into a mode of rationalization. He does not want to take responsibility for his lack of knowledge and experience, and perhaps his inability to cope with stressful situations; rather, he charges that his children were to blame for the unpleasant situations he encountered in caring for them.

There are a couple of things that must be said regarding this gentleman’s misguided characterizations.
 

1.   Our friend’s disposition is quite the contrary of that entertained by the Lord Jesus. When the disciples asked about the qualities of those who would be the “greatest” in the kingdom of heaven, the Lord called to himself a “little child.” The Greek word for “little child” is paidion, which generally denotes an infant, or a very young child. In this case, the child was old enough to respond to the Savior’s “call,” yet small enough that Jesus picked up the youngster and placed him in the midst of the group (Mt. 18:2). Mark, in a parallel passage, states that Christ took the child “in his arms” (Mk. 9:36). The collective evidence would suggest that this child was what one would call a “toddler.”

The Savior did not even remotely suggest that this little one was tyrannical, selfish, and one of the most “awful creatures in the world.” Instead, he exalted the child as a model for those who would aspire to a place in the kingdom of heaven. The Lord’s assessment was light-years from that of the frenzied father under review. In this connection, one should also consider supplementary texts of the same vein (Mt. 19:13-15; Mk. 10:13-16; Lk. 18:15-17). 

The Savior did not even remotely suggest that this little one was tyrannical, selfish, and one of the most “awful creatures in the world.” Instead, he exalted the child as a model for those who would aspire to a place in the kingdom of heaven. The Lord’s assessment was light-years from that of the frenzied father under review. In this connection, one should also consider supplementary texts of the same vein (Mt. 19:13-15; Mk. 10:13-16; Lk. 18:15-17).

      Mothers and fathers need to apply some common sense to their moments of parental discouragement. In considering the behavior of infants or very young children, one needs to reflect upon the fact that these little ones have not yet learned to understand the nature of their own needs, and how to have them satisfied. They are unable to communicate intelligently to their parents, with such sentiments as: “I am hungry; I am cold; I hurt,” etc.

Further, they as yet know nothing of moderation in making requests. They have been designed with certain intense instincts for gaining attention in the absence of more advanced communication skills. As they grow older, they have to be taught, of course, that different types of responses are expected from those who are able to learn at more advanced stages of development. This is the parents’ job.

When mothers and fathers do not take the time to patiently and lovingly instruct their children regarding moderate behavior (or do not know how), in their confusion they sometimes resort to other explanations for why their little ones seem to be unmanageable. At this juncture of their “wits-end” exasperation, along comes the “inherited sinful nature” theory, and they adopt it as a convenient explanation for their own lack of skill and patience. 

Children can be taught to behave; it is not an easy task, but the problem is not remedied with false theories that contradict plain Bible teaching.

Youngsters sometimes develop an accelerated level of inappropriate behavior—either because they are not gradually taught to overcome their infantile conduct, or because they learn unacceptable behavior from others. As they grow old enough to observe, they learn to imitate the actions of their associates—even when they cannot yet appreciate the gravity of what they are doing. Sometimes their worst teachers are dad and mom, who themselves exhibit bursts of temper because they cannot deal responsibly with their children or other situations in life.

But infants have no moral culpability. They have no consciousness of a sacred “law” that demands: “You shall not cry, or kick your legs.” They cannot fathom why they cannot have a sibling’s toy that they want so badly. They have no awareness of a divine standard that either “accuses” or “excuses” them (Rom. 2:15; cf. 1 Jn. 3:4). There is no written, “Goo Goo” law from God to which they are amenable!

Incidentally, is it possible that baby Jesus cried at times? Do you suppose that Mary, on those occasions, concluded that this child was one of the world’s most “awful creatures”? The intemperance of our friend’s comments is quite incredible.

Finally, there is this haunting question that the advocates of the “infant sin” theory choose to avoid. When one of these “awful” infants dies, what is his eternal fate? Christ declared that when one dies in sin, he cannot enter heaven (Jn. 8:21). Is the “sinful baby” able to reach out to God for “pardon”? If so, where is the biblical evidence for that assertion?

Can we not fathom the horrible consequence of this doctrine—that babies are “awful” sinners? False ideas such as this should be abandoned on the basis of what God has revealed in His word.

SOME BIBLICAL PORTRAITS OF FATHERS
24th June 07

1.   Fathers who made obvious mistakes (sinned):  Noah (Genesis 9:21), Lot (Genesis 19:33-38).

2.   A prime example of a good father and an obedient son:  Abraham and Isaac (Genesis 22:7-19).

3.  A spiritual father and son team: Paul and Timothy

     (1 Timothy 1:2; 2 Corinthians 1:1).

4.  A father who was blameworthy for the sinful lives of his children: Eli (1 Samuel 2:13, “For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.”).

5.   A father who was not responsible for the sinfulness of his children: Samuel (1 Samuel 8:1-5, “And it came to pass, when Samuel was old, that he made his sons judges over Israel.  Now the name of his firstborn was Joel; and the name of his second, Abiah: they were judges in Beersheba.  And his sons walked not in his ways, but turned aside after lucre, and took bribes, and perverted judgment. Then all the elders of Israel gathered themselves together, and came to Samuel unto Ramah,  And said unto him, Behold, thou art old, and thy sons walk not in thy ways: now make us a king to judge us like all the nations.”).

6.  Fathers who love their sons in spite of their sons’ wick            edness:  David and Absalom (2 Samuel 18:31-33), the prodigal son and his father (Luke 15:11-24).

7.   A rash father: Jephthah (Judges 11:30-39).

      A father who chastises his son because he loves him: God the Father (Hebrews 12:5-12).

Conclusion

“. . . [T]he Christian home is deteriorating today, because, among other reasons, it is being less effective in establishing a strong Christian faith in its children.” [Ibid., p. 4.]   When should we start, in the home and in the church, to teach children?  From the cradle!  “There was not a word of all that Moses commanded, which Joshua read not before all the congregation of Israel, with the women, and the little ones, and the strangers that were conversant among them” (Joshua 8:35).  With whom did Israel leave the babies if everyone else assembled?

We have our Sodom and Gomorrahs.  We have idolatry (idols fashioned from the imaginations of men  —  denominational gods).  Yet, there is hope.  Sinners can be washed, sanctified and justified (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).  Though all have sinned (Romans 1:18-32; 3:23), sinners can obey from the heart and be made free from sin (Romans 6:17-18).  

What Is A Home?

A roof to keep out the rain.  Four walls to keep out the wind.  Floors to keep out the cold.  Yes, but home is more than that.  It is a laugh of a baby, the song of a mother, the strength of a father.  Warmth of loving hearts, light from happy eyes, kindness, loyalty, comradeship.  Home is the first school of young ones, where they learn what is good, what is right and what is kind.  That is a home, May God Bless It!  (Anonymous)

The Parents’ Faith

·      We believe our children are a gift of God  —  the hope of tomorrow.

·    We believe that immeasurable possibilities lie slumbering in each son and daughter.

·    We believe that God has planned for their future, and that His love shall always surround them; and so . . .

·    We believe that they shall grow up!  —  first crawling, then toddling, then standing, stretching skyward for a decade and a half  —  until they reach full stature  —  a man and a woman!

·    We believe that they can and will be molded and shaped between infancy and adulthood  —  as a tree is shaped by the gardener, and the clay vessel in the potter’s hands, or the shoreline of the sea under the watery hand of the mighty waves; by home and church; by school and street, through sights and sounds and the touch of our hands on their hands and Christ’s Spirit, through His Word, on their hearts!

·    We believe that they shall mature as only people can  —  through laughter and tears, through trial and error, by reward and punishment, through affection and discipline, until they stretch their wings and leave their nests to fly!

O, God  —  We believe in our children.  Help us so to live that they may always believe in us  —  and so in Thee.  (Anonymous)