HOW TO DEAL WITH ANNOYING PEOPLE?

In my last article, I talked about one of the challenges I faced during my National Service. Even though it has been more than a year since I wrote my last article, I am still currently serving my National Service, and so I thought it would be good to talk about another experience I faced during this time while the memories and emotions are still fresh. 

When people ask me, “How’s NS?” I always answer with, “It’s good”, and indeed, NS has been a really good experience for me. Many of my peers will disagree with me on this one. Maybe it’s because I ended up in the Navy, but I think regardless of which service or vocation you end up in, one thing usually stays the same; and that is that you get to meet people from all walks of life. It is a very different environment as compared to the school environment I had previously, where social circles were more limited, mainly based on the school, age or your subject combination. Naturally, due to the variety of people, there are bound to be some who annoy you, sometimes to the point where you really want to do something to get back at them. However, over the course of this journey, I’ve learnt that not only does holding such “grudges” prove to be meaningless, it is also not Christian-like.

I want to start off with some examples of these annoying people, before talking about the different approaches I had taken to help me look past these people. First, we have the people who make your life hard for no reason at all. The people I’m talking about are those ‘enciks’ or higher-ups who just give you a lot of trash jobs and menial tasks to do, or refuse to give you straight answers when you ask them for answers to certain things or for help. Instead, they directed you to “go find out yourself”, only to be told whatever you went to find out was the wrong answer. It wouldn’t be so bad if it were just old people telling me to do this kind of stuff, but when some of them who were barely a few years my senior made my life hard, that’s when I really got annoyed. Second, we have those who took the easy way out, dropping out of course or the vocation just so they can escape the hard work, being able to enjoy relaxing work while getting paid the same amount. This was something that really bothered me as it just felt way too unfair. 

Those were the two main groups of people that really annoyed me, and now I’ll go through the approach in dealing with them. When dealing with those who make your life difficult, I think what really helps is the famous “Golden rule”, found in Matthew 7:12, “Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”. This rule is the main reason why I managed to significantly reduce the number of people who made my life hard. The moment I first stepped aboard my ship, I made sure I treated everyone with respect. I did what I was told and made sure to do it properly, and because people could see that I was useful and respectful, many of them also reciprocated the respect, which made my life significantly easier. So, what about the few who still treated me like trash? Was I supposed to treat them like trash too, according to this Golden rule? No. In that very same sermon on the mount, Jesus mentioned earlier in Matthew 5:38-48 about going the second mile, returning evil with good, to bless those who curse you, etc. It is clear here that even though people in life may treat us horribly at times, we are not to hold grudges, but treat them the same, or at least try to treat them similarly as to how we treat any other person, because ultimately our reward is in heaven, and by loving those who hate us, we can show others that we are set apart, glorifying the Lord through our actions. On the practical side, by constantly treating them well, or at least not badly, as Proverbs 25:21-22 says, we will heap coals of fire upon their heads, and who knows? They might eventually turn from their ways and treat you well. 

Next, for those who make life seem very unfair, the best solution is just to ignore it, and just continue to improve yourself. Those who keep trying to take the easy way out, will one day receive the fruits of their labour, or lack thereof rather. We, as Christians, should always strive to do the best in whatever we do. Colossians 3:23-24 “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.”. Yes, it’s easy to just run away from your duties. It is easy to do your job half-heartedly, but once again, going back to the point I mentioned previously, our goal is heaven, and we are representatives of Christ. Whatever reward that these people might get from slacking, so be it! As Christians, giving our all no matter where we are shows that we are different. We are not like everybody else, running away when things get tough, but instead sticking through the tough times and doing our best to the end, which glorifies God’s name. Even if our work is not recognised, even if our hard work yields the same worldly rewards as those who do little, God, who sees everything, will surely recognise our hard work, and we will be greatly rewarded in heaven. Once you start seeing things this way, your hateful thoughts towards people who slack or receive seemingly unfair treatment will slowly subside, because what others do shouldn’t matter to you. You just have to make sure that you do what you have to do right. Anyway, going through trials and hard work is beneficial in making you stronger, as noted in James 1:2-4.

Now, maybe you’ve never met these two types of people in your life, but you’ve definitely met people in life who annoy you, sometimes so much to the point where you start to hate them. Even so, the solution remains the same. Any type of annoying person can be dealt with either of the methods that I’ve mentioned, or a combination of them. The principle in dealing with annoying people will always stay the same, be respectful, patient, forgiving and don’t let their antics overcome you; instead choosing to focus on your own actions, making sure that you live a godly life. Earlier I mentioned that I always say that I’ve had a good experience in NS, and this whole “dealing with annoying people” thing is one of the things that has made my experience so good. Yes, it’s not enjoyable; these people can really be a pain to deal with or be around, but it has definitely been a very valuable learning experience for me. To me, this learning opportunity that I have, being able to handle these types of people which is helpful in the secular sense, has helped me mature as a Christian; to be more forgiving, to be more tolerant, and to keep shining as an example while the rest of the world may react differently. 

Ask Yourself:

1. How can we go about dealing with people who annoy us?

2. What does the Bible say about taking things into our own hands against these people?

3. How have I treated the people around me recently, especially those whom I don’t really like?

   
   

Suggested Answers:

1. Ignore their works (those who annoy you through unfair successes), focus on improving yourself, treating them the same as any other person. If it is something that can be corrected by you, tell them in a constructive and edifying way.

2. May not be the exact context but Romans 12:9 - Vengeance is of the Lord’s. If they do evil to us, let’s leave it to the Lord. We just have to endure the hardship and continue to do what we do. Going back to Matthew 5:38-48, exacting our grudges makes us no better than those outside of Christ who do the same. To be holy is to be set apart.

3. Reflect on your treatment of others, treat everyone fairly and with respect. It may be hard but that's what we ought to do.